NEWSFLASH: Private "Elmo" captured
The US Army is said to be investigating claims that Private Elmo of the Fluffy Red Brigade (Alpha Unit) has been taken captive by insurgents near the town of Samarra. In one footage, released on the Arab network Al Jazeera, the toy is threatened with decapitation if he "doesn't stop his annoying laughter". The circumstances leading up to the kidnapping as well as Private Elmo's state of health remain unclear. His long time partner Zoe has been kept updated by a Department of Defence official and has refused to comment on the story. Long time friend and neighbour Big Bird commented that "Elmo was loved by all and is missed by many".
Hat Tip: PowerLine